Freddy Von Schnauzer’s Eulogy

My Eulogy to my bud....




Yesterday a handful of close friends and I buried Freddy Von Schnauzer just outside my office window. He'll never be too far away.


When they told me Freddy was sick I shared that sickness with him from beginning to end. When they amputated his little toe I was his nurse. 24/7. When freddy died part of me died too. Still trying to figure out how much.


Everyone here loves Freddy Von Schnauzer and Freddy Von Schnauzer loved everyone that’s here. He was a special little guy. He brought 11 years three months 12 days of joy in my life and he will be in my heart forever.


He had attitude. He was a force to be reckoned with. He was a stud. Even going in for his final moments he tried to pick up a giant poodle. He likes his women big. He thought he was a great Dane. He was in this cute little shell but Freddy never had a problem with the biggest.


He holds many secrets and he’ll never tell. He was my Pal, companion and spiritual guide. He was special. Anyone that knew Freddy knew he was special and they knew in an instant.


I got a miniature schnauzer because I know how loyal they are. To my dismay I found the most disloyal schnauzer that ever walked the face of the earth. But I loved him to death and always will. Every day with Freddy was a good day. Every day I got my Kissy Kissy daddy. Every day he was a pain in the ass. And every day I loved every minute of it.


I was his servant, his Butler and everything else and his daddy and he trained me well. I knew what I had to do at 7AM.  830am he had to be fed. He would start reminding me at 8 AM. I knew what I had to do at 1 1am. That was turkey time.  I knew what I had to do at 2PM. That was a cookie. I new what I had to do a 3:30 PM and he would naturally start reminding me at 3 PM. Then of course immediately following dinner that used to be at 5 PM by the way, he would get three cookies. I knew what I had to do at 5 PM. I knew it I had to do at 7 PM. At 10:30pm He would want to go upstairs and go to sleep.


I had a schedule that lasted 11 years and I seldom if ever missed a beat. And neither did he. He was a demanding little boy but he was also the very sweetest most wonderful little boy


Most importantly while dating he was my single best way to get the woman to see my home. I said I have to go home and walk Freddy von Schnauzer. And they would all understand that. And it was an easy way to break the ice. So I owe Freddy a lot for using him as an excuse to get laid.


I really thought Freddy and I would be together for 15 to 17 years. I thought I would be 70 years old before the thought of losing him would occur. But the spring changed everything. And he was tough throughout his battle with cancer. He fought to the very last day. He had spirit to the very last moment. And trying to pick up that giant poodle just showed that even on deaths door step my guy was a stud. My boy was special. Everyone gathered here knows how special Freddy was.


And let’s not forget he was the mascot of the TRAFFIC domain trade show from 2007 to 2014. Everyone knew Freddy. He was distinguished, he was handsome and he takes to his grave my very favorite line.


I would be at a hotel or I would be in an  elevator and all women would say “oh how cute”.  And I would say in a slightly outraged voice: “hey how about my dog?” And they would all laugh. Sometimes I would say “how about me?” And I can’t use those lines ever again.


They would say we look alike. Or we have the same hair. I loved it.


Freddy Von Schnauzer, my very best friend.  I love you,I care about you, I will never forget you.  You added so much to my life and taught me so much about life. Please look out for my mom and dad and Michael too. Hopefully will have a special treat for you.


Your daddy loves you Freddy. Your daddy loves you.