Freddy Von Schnauzer’s Eulogy

My Eulogy to my bud....

Yesterday a handful of close friends and I buried Freddy Von Schnauzer just outside my office window. He'll never be too far away.

When they told me Freddy was sick I shared that sickness with him from beginning to end. When they amputated his little toe I was his nurse. 24/7. When freddy died part of me died too. Still trying to figure out how much.

Everyone here loves Freddy Von Schnauzer and Freddy Von Schnauzer loved everyone that’s here. He was a special little guy. He brought 11 years three months 12 days of joy in my life and he will be in my heart forever.

He had attitude. He was a force to be reckoned with. He was a stud. Even going in for his final moments he tried to pick up a giant poodle. He likes his women big. He thought he was a great Dane. He was in this cute little shell but Freddy never had a problem with the biggest.

He holds many secrets and he’ll never tell. He was my Pal, companion and spiritual guide. He was special. Anyone that knew Freddy knew he was special and they knew in an instant.

I got a miniature schnauzer because I know how loyal they are. To my dismay I found the most disloyal schnauzer that ever walked the face of the earth. But I loved him to death and always will. Every day with Freddy was a good day. Every day I got my Kissy Kissy daddy. Every day he was a pain in the ass. And every day I loved every minute of it.

I was his servant, his Butler and everything else and his daddy and he trained me well. I knew what I had to do at 7AM.  830am he had to be fed. He would start reminding me at 8 AM. I knew what I had to do at 1 1am. That was turkey time.  I knew what I had to do at 2PM. That was a cookie. I new what I had to do a 3:30 PM and he would naturally start reminding me at 3 PM. Then of course immediately following dinner that used to be at 5 PM by the way, he would get three cookies. I knew what I had to do at 5 PM. I knew it I had to do at 7 PM. At 10:30pm He would want to go upstairs and go to sleep.

I had a schedule that lasted 11 years and I seldom if ever missed a beat. And neither did he. He was a demanding little boy but he was also the very sweetest most wonderful little boy

Most importantly while dating he was my single best way to get the woman to see my home. I said I have to go home and walk Freddy von Schnauzer. And they would all understand that. And it was an easy way to break the ice. So I owe Freddy a lot for using him as an excuse to get laid.

I really thought Freddy and I would be together for 15 to 17 years. I thought I would be 70 years old before the thought of losing him would occur. But the spring changed everything. And he was tough throughout his battle with cancer. He fought to the very last day. He had spirit to the very last moment. And trying to pick up that giant poodle just showed that even on deaths door step my guy was a stud. My boy was special. Everyone gathered here knows how special Freddy was.

And let’s not forget he was the mascot of the TRAFFIC domain trade show from 2007 to 2014. Everyone knew Freddy. He was distinguished, he was handsome and he takes to his grave my very favorite line.

I would be at a hotel or I would be in an  elevator and all women would say “oh how cute”.  And I would say in a slightly outraged voice: “hey how about my dog?” And they would all laugh. Sometimes I would say “how about me?” And I can’t use those lines ever again.

They would say we look alike. Or we have the same hair. I loved it.

Freddy Von Schnauzer, my very best friend.  I love you,I care about you, I will never forget you.  You added so much to my life and taught me so much about life. Please look out for my mom and dad and Michael too. Hopefully will have a special treat for you.

Your daddy loves you Freddy. Your daddy loves you.

21 thoughts on “Freddy Von Schnauzer’s Eulogy

  1. Tucker

    Heartwrenching, captivating, agonizing, and deliciously warm and inspiring — all in the same read! What a heartwarming way to start my day …thank you for sharing it.

    P.S. No wonder you’re so admirably riotous on the outside …you’re all heart, Rick! :)

    “I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn’t like a person” ~~Bill Murray

  2. DNSure

    Damn you—tearing up over here. I have a dog the same age I love like that. Sorry for your loss. Perfect tribute.

  3. Marcelo

    Rick, that was an amazing opportunity in this life: know a true love and friendship. I hope you can get some consolation/comfort… sorry for your loss.

  4. Paul K

    Sorry for your loss.

    For whatever reason, I cried more over the loss of my dogs more than my parents….sad yet true.

    My God bless you and your family. You will all see each other in Heaven.


  5. ss

    a wonderful tribute to a very special friend. thank you for posting that. recently, i’ve realized that like my beloved wheaten terrier, all animals deserve a life of freedom and happiness, so i went vegan. please consider doing so as well for your health and the environment, but especially for the animals. cheers

  6. Chester

    This is going just a little too far now…
    Dogs are not fucking people.
    And never fell sorry for a multi-millionaire.

    1. Rick Schwartz

      Good to know there is always a piece of shit like you standing by!
      What a low life scumbag!
      And folks, this is one of your totally classless “Domainer Friends”.

  7. Jon Feldman

    Hi Rick,
    Sorry for your loss & I can relate because this past July I lost my collie Sage who was like Lassie & I don’t cry easily but I did for 3 weeks. As far as that rude, insensitive guy Chester he is not a piece of shit more like a whole truckload of shit. He just does not get it & what he does not realize is the reason you are worth millions is because you had vision & acted on it. I would also be willing to bet that if you could spend a million bucks to bring Freddy back you would do it in a heartbeat. I have decided if anyone called Chester inquired about one of my domains I will ask him if he is the same rude insensitive guy he commented on your post about Freddy passing.
    Best Regards,

  8. Jose

    Thanks Rick,

    Unfortunately we are all passing through in this life, I after suffering the aggression of three men with a very strong blow in my head when I was 41 years old, after months of recovery I was a 4 year old boy.

    The doctor of psychology and psychiatry tell my brother and parents (They in this order RIP) that I need an entertainment for the age that I had become, give me different toys and I do not play, one day my parents see a little kitten months climb to a branch of a tree at home of a neighbor friend and bring it to my side and I start caressing, with the months recover more my skills and never before have had pets at home, I do not know what name to put and our mother Give the name of Nina.

    The Nina(RIP) was for me the best friend as a domestic animal was at home with me 14 years came a day that was not well and take her to the veterinarian and give me bad news to have a very advanced bad tumor and it would be better not to suffer in his loneliness anesthetize her and give an injection to die and then incinerate her body (Cats males and females are hiding anywhere to die alone) I leave crying after this news and take home the Nina not eat anything, see that I suffered, and I fell asleep on the sofa for two hours and when I woke up I saw that it was not in its place, I searched all over the house and could not find it and the only place was in the house where I could be and that was how I was alone waiting for death but with suffering to see his appearance.

    Write a poem and in the afternoon go to the vet with Nina was the only solution for after 14 wonderful years and that helped me to recover with their sympathy, their beauty, their desire to play, naughty, intelligent, sensitive, loving and much but, I could not see her dying, suffering for it, I decided not to suffer a slow agony.

    Before everything started I recited the poem that was also a baptism in which I was called for posterity Nina Sabater, since then her ashes are in a chest and the day I say goodbye to this world I wish that Nina Sabater was my side forever more.

    Best regards. Jose

  9. Danny Pryor

    I’m so sorry Freddy Von Schnauzer is gone, Rick, but I am thrilled I met him on many occasions at TRAFFIC shows. He’s part of many good memories for a good many people. Thank you for sharing him with all of us, and my condolences to you.

  10. Dennis Combs

    So sorry to hear of the loss of your friend/companion/dog. I’ll bet his final resting spot outside your window is beautiful. I will make a donation under the name Freddy Von Schnauzer to our local animal rescue league. I hope that is a fitting tribute. If we had a brothel close I’d send a dollar there in the little stud’s name too!

  11. Matt Gill

    So sorry for you loss of your baby. Very nice eulogy.
    Hope you have many good memories of your time together to keep you feeling better.

  12. mika

    The Rainbow Bridge:

    Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….

    Lots of Love to Rick & Freddy Von Schnauzer.
    Mika & other friends you don’t know are out there


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