THIS APPEARED ON CRAIGSLIST and is guaranteed to give you a
laugh in good fun...
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I'm tired of “beating around the bush”. I'm a
beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and
I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy
who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in
mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think
I'm overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any
wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average
around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an
investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is
she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics-
bars, restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you
won't hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting like in 40s or
what (I'm 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the
upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer,
investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do
they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am
looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in
an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up
front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able
to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and
AN ANSWER THAT WAS POSTED
I read your posting with great interest and have thought
meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who
fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain
and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S.,
what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I
bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my
income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am
an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates!
Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5
years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a
fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading
position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good
business sense to 'buy you' (which is what you're asking) so I'd
rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If
my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an
out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient
So, I wonder why a girl as 'articulate, classy and
spectacularly beautiful' as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy.
I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that
the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own
money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you're going about it the
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some
sort of lease, let me know.
Talk about a LAUGH OUT
Does that just make you laugh or what?
I love how the poster commented that the woman 'could
always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this
If you're a woman...I
don't have to tell you that women are JUST AS GOOD AS MEN (if not better) in
just about any business.
There's any number of
ultra-successful women reading this blog (more and more coming as the old boys
club gets prettied up a little) and they could back me up on that even if we’ve
never met or said hello. Women like that one, though, jeez...I thank my
lucky stars I have an accomplished, beautiful girlfriend who has a LIFE OF HER
OWN...and would stand by my side even if I lost every dime I've ever earned.
Thank God I bought her FirstNameLastName.com so she can never escape
If you're a fella, I hope you've got one of those ladies in
your life, too. I hope anyone reading that got a good chuckle...and in case you
wonder if I simply wanted to make you laugh today, maybe you want to read that
Only imagine the title is:
Looking for a Good Internet Marketing Plan (PROVEN to Increase Sales)]]
Shall I spell it out in another way without “beating around
Here you go:
Okay, I'm tired of “beating around
the bush”. I'm a small but established business (increasingly successful), 25
years old with a brick and mortar store. I'm good at what I do and
I'm not from the World Wide Web.
I'm looking to get on the internet and grow my business at least half a million
a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is small
news on the World Wide Web, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.
Are there any business advisors who
can help me make 500K or more on this board? Any websites you can show me? Could
you send me some tips?
Don’t skip over this
ONE decision bringing your brick and mortar business online or you’ll end up
Don’t spend $8.99 for a one night stand we can tell you how
Do your due diligence and you’ll realize $1000 per month is
a bargain for operating a million dollar asset, increasing profits with it, and
down the road having a chance to buy it without coming out of pocket more up
front capital than you can afford to easily part with today.
INVESTMENT WORTH MARRYING TO YOUR COMPANY
INTERNET GAMBLE ANY SMART BUSINESS OWNER WOULDN’T SLEEP WITH FOR ONE .NIGHT
Simple. Straight forward.
You can be beautiful AND rich. Just marry right.
(yes sweetie, I said
it but don’t think that was an informal proposal
so much as a funny inside joke that’ll be written here in ink online forever)